Lending A Helping Hand

How many of you believe in karma? In my opinion, good or bad, karma is a real thing. Alot of people believe in it, but won’t do anything that would bring good karma. I’m not saying you have to do anything big and extravagant. It’s the little things that go a long way.

This morning I was running late for work, like I am most days, but I had to get gas first or my car wasn’t gonna make it there. As I’m finishing up a woman comes up to me with jumper cables in hand. She asks me if I had time to help her jump her van. As I’m telling her I’m running late to work I think about all the times I had car issues and some random person offers a helping hand. Or all the times I was walking to school, which was like 5 or 6 miles away, and people on there way to work stop and gave me a ride. So I tell her I can help and we get it started. Even though I was a few minutes late, if she didn’t get her car started she might not have went to work at all.

Putting someone else’s needs before yours is what attracts good karma. I could have left, went to work and gone about my day. But what would happen the next time Im stuck on the side of the road? Would anyone help me? Would they drive by and not even look my way? Or would I end up spending a bunch of money on a tow truck?

Like I said in the beginning, a little karma goes a long way. So the next time you find yourself in a situation that you could possibly be a big help to someone else, do it. Be that helping hand.

If you haven’t already read my other blog Hear My Words: After Dark check it out. New stories every Thursday at 8pm. Because scary stories are always better at night.

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Love is Love

What is love? In my opinion love is that feeling you get when your with someone you care for so much that despite all there faults you will still be there for them. Being IN love with someone is totally different.

Being in love is a need. You need that person in your life. You need them to be with you, to be close to you. Think about it. Have you ever been in an argument with your significant other and your both mad as hell?Did you A) break up and move on because you can’t be around them anymore? Or B) still felt the need to be there with them no matter who was right or wrong?

I said all that to say this, it’s 2018 and there’s still people who think love can only exist between a man and a woman. No matter if your a guy and you feel like you have these feelings for not here man or a female haveing that complete comfort with a certain other female. You should be able to experience that just like any other straight couple. Love is love. And it doesn’t care what gender you are. It happens when your mind and heart says that person made me feel amazing when they’re around, I need that feeling all the time.

Thanks for reading! If you support the LGBTQ community then give this post a like 👍

Why I think marriage is like Fortnite

Hello everyone! Hope your weekend was as fun filled as mine was. Father’s day and my birthday are 3 days apart and my wife usually does one main gift for both. (I’d rather give the gift then to receive one) this year she got me the best game I’ve played in a while…Fortnite!

I know I’m a little late to the Fortnite craze and people have been playing for months. But when I tell you this game is on a whole other level of gaming, I wasn’t ready lol. After playing a few days and getting better I realized something. Marriage and Fortnite are more similar than you think. I have 5 comparisons below and you tell me if you agree.

1. Everyone sucks at first

Learning something new is always a challenge. In this game learning all the controls, how to build, etc. In marriage its learning your significant others ways, pet peeves and habits. And until you really get to know them, you’ll come into a few arguments at first. But you learn and you get better each day.

2. “Building up” your relationship

The very first time I played I was so confused on why these people were building structures higher and higher while in battle. By reading Fortnite tips online (and YouTube) I found that you want to “build up” to get the height advantage on your opponents. Same in marriage, except your not trying to kill each other (hopefully). The advantage you are trying to get is on life.

Building up your relationship helps strengthen your bond so your prepared when a bump in the road comes along to break it. A weak relationship will break over small things. Where if you’ve been building on your foundation, even the big issues can be handled with no problems.

3. Keep moving forward

The worst thing you can do in Fortnite is stay in one spot! Between all the other opponents searching for loot and the never ending storm, you will die if you don’t keep moving towards the center of the white circle.

Every marriage has problems from time to time, but it’s what you do after is what matters. Your relationship will die too if you don’t keep moving forward. Dwelling on the past acts as a poison that slowly eats away at your feelings for the other person. But moving forward you can always rebuild.

4. Beware of the coming storm

This is more so for men. I’ve been married almost 10 years (July 28th) and after really paying attention to my wife and how she thinks, I can foreshadow an argument (the storm) before I do or say something stupid. That’s why building up your relationship is so important. To have the ability to prevent a fight will save you in the long run. If you see that purple screen start to close in, do you just stay where you are or do you try to make it to the safe space?

Granted, you can’t prevent all the arguments you might find yourself in. But knowing you can stop a few will make both of your lives easier.

5. Solo VS Duo

The first 2 days of gaming I did on the solo mode. Learning the buttons and where to land to find loot. It was very challenging. But when my wife downloaded it on her phone and we played duos together, it made it a lot easier.

It’s always better to have someone watching your back. In life as well. I don’t know where I would be if my wife wasn’t there for me all the times she was. I’ve had some really depressing lows and the one person I could count on was always there. So if you’re married and you have a problem, you should be able to confide in your spouse.

Thanks again for reading! If you have any other comparisons between marriage and your favorite game, leave a comment and tell me about it.

Just because:

Anybody else been eliminated by someone better then you? I have lol

How I balance work, blogging and family life

As you may know by now if you’ve read my last few blogs here, that I’m new to the blogging community. I didn’t know how much time was needed to actually get my name and content out there. But I soon realized that I needed a balanced time schedule to make my daily goals, work my full-time job without slacking off and spending time with my wife and kids.

A little bit about me

I’m 28 years old and have been married for almost 10 years (July 28). I have two daughters Chilaa 10 and ZyKaraa 5. Also two God kids Jillian 5 and Grayson aka Fitz 7 months. I am Head of Housekeeping for the mall in my town and work your average 9-5 time period.

Starting out I was going in full force and trying to focus solely on writing and getting people to read my content that I started to lack in other areas. So I had to come up with a system that works for me and it’s been working this far.

Work

Being the Head of Housekeeping there is not alot of “free time” for writing. But I’ve got a system down now where I’ll do my morning walk through of the mall to see what needs to be tended to first. While I do that I think of my topic for the day. Once I get to a stopping point I write down my ideas and pick the best one. Then I go and do some cleaning or trash rounds while thinking of my content and how I want to present it. Then after my majority of tasks are done I take a break and usually have lunch with my wife. No work or writing during this time. This part of the day is for me and her only. This helps Alot and doesn’t make her feel like I’m ignoring her by being focused elsewhere.

After my break, in between cleaning tasks, I write a paragraph here and there till I have the base idea of the blog done. Our mall is not your typical high traffic mall So every day there is a point where I have done everything and just have to wait for someone to make a mess. During this time is where I fine tune and edit my post for publishing. Learning to multitask is a must if you already have a full-time job.

Family

After work is done, the evening is children based. Between homework, karate practice 2 days a week, tag teaming dinner with my wife and just being with them is their time with me. I’ll check instagram and Twitter here and there but I try not to loose myself in my devices when I’m with them.

From past experiences I’ve learned that time with your parents at a young age can make the biggest impressions on your life as an adult. Having your parents “present” is very important.

Time for the Wife

After the kids are in bed, dog has been walked and God kids have gone home. We finally get time to ourselves. Some nights it’s later then others but even if we are both tired we will talk about our days, watch a show or two, play minecraft (greastest couple activity in my book) or just watch some YouTube videos. But our time is our time.

Once or twice a week we will have our solo time. When you’ve been married for a long time its good to have that personal time before you two get tired of being around each other. How do you balance your time? What’s your biggest struggle time wise?

What’s your state’s marriage and divorce ratio?

My previous blog Top 5 Arguments That Lead To Divorce focused on the reasons couples get divorced. So here I have some numbers on the actual percentage of those divorces in each state. Also the percentage of married couples as well.

These are not my findings! I just really thought that this was interesting. All credit do to John Harrington and Cheyenne Buckingham for these ratios. Click the link for more facts and details of each state.

1. Alabama -Divorced 12.5%, Married 33.4%

2. Alaska -Divorced 11.6%, Married 48.8%

3. Arizona -Divorced 12.4%, Married 33.3%

4. Arkansas -Divorced 13.1%, Married 24.8%

5. California -Divorced 9.5%, Married 33.1%

6. Colorado -Divorced 12%, Married 34.8%

7. Connecticut -Divorced 10.7%, Married 35.6%

8. Delaware -Divorced 11.4%, Married 32%

9. Florida- Divorced 13%, Married 32.3%

10. Georgia -Divorced 11.4%, Married 30.1%

11. Hawaii -Divorced 9.4%, Married 46.1%

12. Idaho -Divorced 12.2%, Married 43.1%

13. Illinois -Divorced 9.8%, Married 44.9%

14. Indiana -Divorced 12.7%, Married 20.2%

15. Iowa -Divorced 10.8%, Married 45.4%

16. Kansas -Divorced 11.5%, Married 47.1%

17. Kentucky -Divorced 13.2%, Married 50.2%

18. Louisiana -Divorced 12%, Married 34%

19. Maine -Divorced 14.1%, Married 39.5%

20. Maryland -Divorced 10%, Married 50.8%

21. Massachusetts -Divorced 9.6%, Married 38.1%

22. Michigan -Divorced 11.6%, Married 41.2%

23. Minnesota -Divorced 10%, Married 42.4%

24. Mississippi -Divorced 11.8%, Married 33.1%

25. Missouri -Divorced 12.2%, Married 39.9%

26. Montana -Divorced 12.6%, Married 44.5%

27. Nebraska -Divorced 10.4%, Married 47.9%

28. Nevada -Divorced 14.1%, Married 38.5%

29. New Hampshire -Divorced 12%, Married 45.8%

30. New Jersey -Divorced 8.5%, Married 44.1%

31. New Mexico -Divorced 12.9%, Married 40.3%

32. New York -Divorced 8.7%, Married 29.6%

33. North Carolina -Divorced 10.6%, Married 51.3%

34. North Dakota -Divorced 9.5%, Married 39.3%

35. Ohio -Divorced 12.1%, Married 32.1%

36. Oklahoma -Divorced 13.3%, Married 54.2%

37. Oregon -Divorced 13.2%, Married 38.3%

38. Pennsylvania -Divorced 9.6%, Married 32.9%

39. Rhode Island -Divorced 11.4%, Married 48.7%

40. South Carolina -Divorced 10.9%, Married 51.1%

41. South Dakota -Divorced 10.6%, Married 46.1%

42. Tennessee -Divorced 12.6%, Married 39.1%

43. Texas -Divorced 10.8%, Married 39.3%

44. Utah -Divorced 9.2%, Married 47.2%

45. Vermont -Divorced 12.4%, Married 33.4%

46. Virginia -Divorced 10.2%, Married 29.9%

47. Washington -Divorced 12.1%, Married 38.7%

48. West Virginia -Divorced 13.3%, Married 51.6%

49. Wisconsin -Divorced 10.8%, Married 44.9%

50. Wyoming -Divorced 12.8%, Married 46.5%

Thanks for reading!

My daughter likes a boy and I don’t know how I feel about it

So this has been eating away at me for about 3 weeks now. I have 2 beautiful daughters, 10 and 5. My oldest likes a boy and I don’t know how I feel about it as her father.

The last week of school my kids walked in and I see my oldest is all smiles and instead of running to the bathroom like she usually does, she gives me a hug and looks at me with that “I have a question, please don’t say no” face. I asked her how her day was and she says “Good….Lane wants my number so we can talk over the summer.” Keep in mind she’s 10 and doesn’t have a phone so all friends phone calls come through me.

I joke around with her about having a boy calling her then asked her the general questions: Who is Lane? Is he in your class? Does he like you? Do you like him? Basic dad stuff. Now usually when I ask her if she likes a boy in a joking way she goes EEEWWW DADDY NO! But this time was different. She had a shy smile and said yes. I don’t know about you but I felt a tear coming.

Before you judge me I did give her permission to give him my number so they could talk. I understand she’s growing up and she has to. But now I’m actually starting to notice and I want to protect her and prepare her for the world before that happens. Does that make since? Am I over reacting as my wife says? When was your daughters/sons first crush?

Top 5 arguments that lead to divorce

In America alone 40% – 50% of marriages end in divorce! Why is that? Well here are my 5 main arguments that lead to divorce.

5. Expectations

When your married you always see the best version of your husband/wife. But expecting them to be that person without them wanting to be can be aggravating for the both of you.

4. Dishonesty

Everyone tells a little white lie here and there. It’s when you consistently tell these little lies that gives your spouse a reason to question everything you say.

3. Communication

Almost all relationships, married or not, come to a point where communication or the lack thereof is the reason for most arguments. Without proper communication you don’t know how the other person is feeling or if there is something you both need to work on.

2. Infidelity

You would think cheating would be number 1! Being human and not controlling the urge to connect deeper than the surface with another person happens more often then not. All the reasons listed here can lead to someone cheating. To find what they are lacking at home somewhere else.

1. Money

The number one marriage killer all over the world! Not enough money and to many bills. One person wants to control all the money. Or simply one spouse just doesn’t want to work and help out financially.

These are my top 5 reasons for divorce in my opinion. What’s your number 1 reason to end a relationship?

If you and your significant other think counseling is in your best interest Click Here and take your first step together! Also check out my Marriage and Trust blog where you can read about why trust is so important in any relationship. Thanks for reading and see you next time!